Like every other Three little Pig story
by RuefulLove
Summary: Do me a favor and don't read this story. I plan to rewrite this story eventually. Trust me, don't read it, it'll be a waste of 5-10 minutes of your life you'll never get back.


Once upon a time there were three little pigs who lived with their mother. However, many (three) years passed and the little pigs weren't little anymore. So Mama Pig was like, "It's 'bout time you three pigs get outta mah house. Here's 200 dollars for each of you to buy a house." Unfortunately, Mama Pig was like xxxx years old when gas prices were fifteen cents so she thought they could buy a house with just 200 dollars. What was even more unfortunate was that the three (not-so-little) pigs lived with their mama so long, they didn't know that houses were more expensive than how much their mom gave them.

So anyways, ladidadida~ all three piggies left home.

The first (not-so-little) piggy whose name we care not about walked up into a real estate office and asked if he could get a house for "'round fifty" (Cause he was a miserly piggy). The guy (who worked in the office whose name we don't care about either) said, "sure, of course we can get you a house 'round fifty.' " The realtor guy then typed on his computer -clickity clack clickity clack- and print. He handed several sheets of paper the first piggy. The first piggy scanned through the list of houses and chose the cheapest house available.

"Did you want to check out the house before you buy sir?" the realtor asked.

"Nah, here's the money now, I want to move in right away." the first piggy said as he handed the realtor fifty dollars.

The realtor immediately handed the fifty dollars back to the first piggy and said, "Sir, houses cost more than fifty dollars. When you said 'Fifty' I thought you meant houses in the fifty THOUSAND range."

The First Piggy shrugged his shoulders and walked out of the building.

Several hours following the First Piggy's departure, the second piggy (whose name we care not either) entered the same building his brother left earlier.

"Hullo sur, I'd like a house for a hundred." Said the Second Piggy. Unlike his brother this piggy was not a miser. However, he was quite the money-spend as he already spent 100 dollars on silly trinkets and things (food obviously, haven't you heard 'piggying out').

It is a tragedy that the realtor did not realize that the Second Piggy was referring to a mere 100 dollars like his brother. And so the realtor guy immediately typed into his computer -clikity clack clickity clack- and print. Handed the list to the Second Piggy.

Unlike his younger brother who preferred the cheapest house available, the Second Piggy chose to buy a house costing exactly 100 (thousand, not that he knew). (I think that it is important for me to write that being the middle child, the Second Piggy was hardly ever doted on and thus, he spends spends spends as a therapeutic way of coping with his unwantedness.

And so, Like his first brother, the second piggy handed the 100 dollar to the realtor. In short, the Second Piggy was kicked out.

Enter the Third Piggy, and like the other two piggies, we don't care about his name neither (haha, double negative). Oh wait, we do care, but unfortunately, I forgot his name. Probably like every other author who wrote the three little pig story so they decide to go with calling the pigs by numbers instead of making up names. Perhaps I should be smart and make up names for the nameless number pigs. Anyways, continuing the story...

And so, Bacon (the third piggy) was about the follow in his younger folly brothers' footsteps when the realtor closed their office. As the realtor guy stepped outside, Bacon came up to him and asked," Where is a good place to buy a house for 200 dollars?" The realtor (grumpy at this point for dealing with two other ignorant pigs) tersely replied, " Houses don't cost less than thousands" and with that the realtor stomped off.

Bacon didn't know what to do so he sat down on the pavement to think. And while he is thinking, we shall to see what his younger brother is up to.

The First Piggy, (whose name shall be Ham)was walking down the street. The sun had already set and so only the street lights lighted the way. And as we walked down the dark street, he met a...


End file.
